8 Steps to Help You Recover Emotionally from the Loss of Your Baby

The loss of a baby no matter when it occurs during pregnancy, early or late, can be devastating. From rejoicing over the news of your pregnancy to crying your heart out over the loss of your baby- nothing in life can prepare you for this rollercoaster ride. And while your body will begin to heal in a few weeks, it is the emotional recovery that lasts far beyond the physical recovery.

Steps to Overcoming a Pregnancy Loss

As your body begins to heal, here are some steps you can take for your emotional recovery

• It wasn’t your fault

Most women who endure pregnancy loss, whether through a miscarriage or stillbirth, tend to feel some degree of guilt. Instead of thinking about what you did wrong and what you could have done right, you must accept that it wasn’t your fault.

Most pregnancy losses occur due to abnormal chromosomes (absence of the right genetic material), something you have no control over. You cannot change what has happened, but you can change your point of view.

• Acknowledge your feelings

It’s absolutely fine to experience conflicting emotions of deep sadness, guilt, anger, denial and jealousy all at once. Allow yourself to feel, express and recognise all these different emotions as they come and go. But most importantly, acknowledge these feelings so that healing can begin.

• Allow yourself the time to heal

While doctors may give you a timeline for physical recovery, healing emotionally from the loss of your baby has no timeline. Your emotional recovery is unique to you and does not depend upon how long you were pregnant. You can take some time off from work and household chores but give yourself the time to heal from within.

• Seek support from your loved ones

Not all battles are fought alone. Don’t hesitate to ask for help from your friends or family and help you with your household responsibilities for some time. You can also speak your heart out to them. Social interaction and acknowledging your feelings can help you feel better, reduce your isolation and overcome pregnancy loss.

• Talk to a therapist

It cannot be easy talking about the loss of your baby but there are therapists, experts at dealing with such losses, who can help you overcome this. Even one therapy session can help you feel better. You can try therapy, whether it’s physical or virtual, journalling, reading and talking to others who might have experienced the same.

• Seek spiritual guidance

If you are religiously inclined, ask your priest or spiritual leader for guidance through this dark time. It may help to speak to them privately or attend worship events. Indulging in religious ceremonies may even take your mind off the loss you have just suffered.

• Cope together as a couple

Turn to your partner for love and support through this emotional upheaval. Remember, they are also grieving the loss of a baby and may show that grief in a way different from yours. But talking to each other, sharing your feelings openly and dividing responsibilities can help you both cope as a couple.

• Ready to try again?

Most women ask their doctors when they can try again. It’s usually safe to try again after 2-3 menstrual cycles. It’s important to know that 98% of women who endure a pregnancy loss go on to have a healthy baby. So, once you have healed physically and emotionally, there’s nothing stopping you from trying again.

Parting Thoughts

Initially, it may seem like you can never overcome the devastating loss of your baby but with time you will get better. Treat yourself with lots of love and care and remind yourself that you can and most likely will get pregnant again and hold a healthy baby in your arms.